This is an expression of a part of a poet named Nimi Coker.
Growing up in the calmness of Abeokuta she transcends her feelings and emotions out through words and her native language
The initial stage.
(Where I berate myself and revel in the pain)
Oh, it hurts.
11:00pm in the cold dry air of January harmattan
I’m shivering but it’s not the weather
It’s the cold blacknessp spreading in my chest from your texts.
Báwo ni mótún se dé bí
This pain is familiar
Even in my temporary paralysis I know it could be worse
I think to myself, I will heal faster from this.
Èmi náà gò díè
How did I let this happen?
I swear I was on guard for like three seconds
I knew you were a demon but I just believed I’d be safe
Èmi ni mo jèbi
I’m angry with me
I could have done better
I should have reminded myself more often of the sufficiency and comfort inside myself
I let you in when I could shut the doors and dance in the dark halls of my mind to music that washes over me and turns my hallways another colour